Showing posts with label working mother. Show all posts
Showing posts with label working mother. Show all posts

Thursday, April 4, 2013

D: Determination

"How do you do it?" People sometimes ask. How do I work, take care of my children, cook, clean, write this blog, write  books, volunteer in my children’s classrooms (three times a week), participate in church, and still look so happy? Well, I have a confession to make: this week, I am exhausted.


I’ve gone from teaching nine credits per semester to twelve this term (which began this week). I teach twelve hours a week: I know that seems like an easy gig, right? But, what it really means, is that for twelve set hours a week (all while my children are in school), I am required to be in class, delivering instruction and/or lectures. But, there is a lot of work that goes into my lessons, and even more (wo)man hours that go into grading papers (at home while juggling all my other duties and roles). Yep, the life of a writing teacher is not as easy as it appears. For every hour I spend in class, I spend another two or three outside class grading and planning. So, while I spend twelve hours each week at work, I spend another thirty (or more) outside class working. Add to my forty hours of work, volunteering three times per week, a daily writing discipline, and all the supermom duties involved in running a household, and I find myself looking forward to retirement.


How do I do it? I don’t really have a choice about working and raising my family. I need to work and I need to take care of my children. My mom used to say, “The more you do, the more you can do” and I have found that to be true. While my mom was a stay-at-home mom for most of my life, she raised five kids instead of two.


The extra things I do – writing – are not required, but I am determined to make a better life and future for my kids. My goal is to be on the tenure track before my own kids are college aged, so they can get a major break on tuition. In order to meet that goal, I need to continue writing, which is tied to my career advancement. So, although I don’t specifically have to do all the things I do, I do them for a reason and with the help and strength I receive from my Lord and Savior.


I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

Phillipians 4:13

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

A Hard-Working Woman


I find it transparent when someone doesn't like what I've written or said, but cannot defend his objections so instead attacks me as a person - and his favorite topic is my gender. 

So, to the man or men who like to post trollish comments about women who work outside the home, I dedicate today's post. Also, to the man who called someone "retarded" for claiming the virtuous wife/mother in Proverbs 31 was an income earner, please read verses 16 and 24, which clearly state that this woman provides income for her family.

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Proverbs 31 provides a detailed metaphor of feminine wisdom in the context of a family and a community.

The most quoted section, verse 10-31, is a chiastic poem, that is, a poem that cycles through alternating thoughts. The chapter speaks of the worth of a good wife to her husband, the manual labor that she does, her fulfillment of responsibilities to those who need her, her ability to provide for her family, and her wisdom in caring for herself so she can share her strength with others. These ideas are presented in a kind of circular pattern throughout the section.

The chapter begins with King Lemuel recounting advice his mother had given him. She exhorted him to not fall to weaknesses that would compromise his position as king, but to care for the poor. One of the weaknesses she mentioned was the susceptibility of his strength—or “noble character” (31:10)—to be harmed by improper relationships with women. Although verses 10-31 do not directly follow this warning in the original, they do illustrate a fitting description of what kind of woman Lemuel should seek.

   10 An excellent wife, who can find?
       For her worth is far above jewels.
   11 The heart of her husband trusts in her,
       And he will have no lack of gain.
   12 She does him good and not evil
       All the days of her life.

A good, supportive, trusting wife is a blessing to a man. A woman who partners with her husband, who is reliable, and looks out for his interests, gives a man a security that is greatly lacking in the world. She is worth more than a substantial paycheck. To bring in the metaphor, wisdom provides the same benefits—it is worth more than money, you can always trust it to make the right decision, and it provides blessings for those who have it.

   13 She looks for wool and flax,
       And works with her hands in delight…
   19 She stretches out her hands to the distaff,
       And her hands grasp the spindle…
   27 She looks well to the ways of her household,
       And does not eat the bread of idleness.

The wife of Proverbs 31 isn’t afraid of work. She gets up in the morning and gets things done. In the time of Solomon, this involved making fabric and sewing clothes, but verse 27 certainly applies directly to us today—taking care of our responsibilities is a characteristic of wisdom.

   15 She rises also while it is still night
       And gives food to her household
       And portions to her maidens…
   21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household,
       For all her household are clothed with scarlet.
   20 She extends her hand to the poor,
       And she stretches out her hands to the needy.

Another characteristic of wisdom is the grace to help others. The Proverbs 31 wife ensures that those under her care receive what they need—food, clothing, protection. And she is able to serve others out of the excess of her work and the leaning of her heart. She has so internalized her role as a provider that it extends past her immediate responsibilities and into the community.

   14 She is like merchant ships;
       She brings her food from afar…
   16 She considers a field and buys it;
       From her earnings she plants a vineyard…
   18 She senses that her gain is good;
       Her lamp does not go out at night…
   24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
       And supplies belts to the tradesmen.

Beyond that, she’s very savvy. She’s educated about the world and the world of business. She knows how to use her skills to provide for her family, and she’s not afraid to go interact with that world, whether it be as a merchant or a buyer. She knows how to use her strengths to her best advantage, and she fully realizes how valuable her efforts are.

   17 She girds herself with strength
       And makes her arms strong…
   22 She makes coverings for herself;
       Her clothing is fine linen and purple.
   25 Strength and dignity are her clothing,
       And she smiles at the future.
   26 She opens her mouth in wisdom,
       And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.

The Proverbs 31 woman not only knows her worth, she knows her responsibilities to herself. She would not be able to provide for others if she neglected her needs—both physical and spiritual. She makes sure her appearance reflects her respected position as an influence in her community. Her greatest strength is her wisdom—her accurate judgment about the world and her influence in it. And she is quick to share the wisdom she has gained to encourage others to reach their potential.

   23 Her husband is known in the gates,
       When he sits among the elders of the land…
   28 Her children rise up and bless her;
       Her husband also, and he praises her, saying:
   29 "Many daughters have done nobly,
       But you excel them all."
   30 Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain,
       But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.
   31 Give her the product of her hands,
       And let her works praise her in the gates.

She knows that, as a partner in her marriage, she has a tremendous influence on her husband’s ministry. She can integrate her life—both domestic and professional—with her ministry in such a way that her husband has the freedom to serve. In fact, her reputation is so established, that it bleeds off onto him.

The Proverbs 31 wife is a fierce provider and protector for those she cares about. She is wise to the ways of the world, but lives by the wisdom of God. As in the rest of the Proverbs, these specific examples provide a metaphor for the larger truth. How any individual woman exemplifies these characteristics will depend on her situation, gifts, and abilities. The key is in verse 30, just as it is in the beginning of Proverbs, in 1:7:

But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.

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This article is reprinted with permission and was originally published on gotquestions.org.