I Should Leave Them Alone, Right?

I've recently seen dozens of pictures of FOC members. It is amazing to see how things have stayed the same – the inside of the church building, the full-coverage homemade formal dresses, the perfectly coiffed young ladies. I saw some pictures of people I knew twenty years ago – hey, you have aged pretty well (clean living)! It made me feel bad and sad. I’ve spent a lot of time writing about this group of people who really just want to be left alone. I should leave them alone, right?

I was thinking they look happy – man, some of them look so much like their parents, aunts, uncles, and cousins whom I grew up with! But, are you happy? It’s none of my business if you’re fine with what you’re settling for.

But, you are settling. You are settling for an unbiblical life. You are settling for legalism. And do you know who the legalists of the Bible were? The Pharisees – those guys were always trying to trap Jesus with their laws. And, Jesus didn’t like them.

I was told by my parents and other adults in the group that we were the only people who followed everything in the Bible. We did everything the New Testament said to do: greeting with a holy kiss, laying on hands, praying for the sick, faith healing, preachers who are called by God. But wait – hold the music. What preachers? None.

What teaching? None. You are paralyzed.

Do you know the great commission? Go and spread the good news among the Earth! How can you do that if you’ve already decided the entire world outside your closed off little sect is damned? You can’t. It’s not right; it’s not a biblical life.

I don’t want to hurt anyone or invade anyone’s privacy (I'm not mentioning any names or showing anyone's pictures or personal information). But, I do want to share the Good News of Jesus Christ with you.

Please make a decision, take action, before it’s too late.

Why Are You So Bitter?

Bitter: adjective. Characterized by intense antagonism or hostility. 

(dictionary.com)

In the past seventeen months (since I began this blog), I’ve been accused of being bitter more times than I can count. I’ve come to realize that this is the go-to insult for people to use when they can’t win an argument. And, really, I don’t want to argue with anyone. But I will try to explain my feelings about the Followers.

1. Sympathy. This is my primary emotion when I think of this group. I feel sorry for young women who are made to feel that they are insignificant. For teenage girls who have to wait in a corner for some boy to deem them worthy of a dance or date. Outside of that group – guess what? Girls and women do the choosing. Yes, that’s right! They don’t have to ask boys out (and most do not), but they select who they will go out with – because for every girl, there are several guys vying for her attention. I feel sorry for young women who are born with brains, but advised to downplay their intellect so as to not intimidate boys. I am sad that you do not have the option to go to college. I feel sorry for the young women who marry at age seventeen (often dropping out of high school for this event) and start having children so young. It makes me sad to think of the women there who are living with domestic violence (no – I’m not saying all men abuse their wives – but enough do and there is zero support for the victims).
2. Responsibility. When I learned the GOOD NEWS of Jesus Christ, I felt so shocked! Jesus loves me? Yes! (But, I’m so unworthy). Jesus loves all of us and wants us in heaven. He made it easy for us. I wish someone had told me years sooner. I know how hard that is to accept when you come from the FOC. I thought it was ridiculous! I fought accepting this truth for months, but someone cared enough to persist in praying for me. When I told my family that I’d become a born-again Christian, they tried to disprove that a person could KNOW that they are saved.
3. Nostalgia. I miss some of the people I grew up with. The people I love and care about now would never shun me. But I would love to catch up with some of the people who were, during my formative years, central to my life. I also miss all the great social events and structure: all the support for the sick, grieving, and celebrating.

I never expected to write about this group. I was terrified to do so, but I cannot explain the feeling of freedom that I’ve gotten from doing so. I still feel like a Follower in so many ways though. I would never call someone a “fool.” I would never take God’s name in vain. I would never use the words, “I swear.” Some people say these “nevers” of mine constitute legalism. But, I don’t care – these are values that are important to me. Why disrespect God? I do not want to hurt anyone. And I hope and pray that my words will do more good than harm.

Still think I’m bitter?

Who are the Watchman?

The word of the Lord came to me: “Son of man, speak to your countrymen and say to them: When I bring the sword against a land, and the people of the land choose one of their men and make him their watchman, and he sees the sword coming against the land and blows the trumpet to warn the people, then if anyone hears the trumpet but does not take warning and the sword comes and takes his life, his blood will be on his own head. Since he heard the sound of the trumpet but did not take warning, his blood will be on his own head. If he had taken warning he would have saved himself. But if the watchman sees the sword coming and does not blow the trumpet to warn the people and the sword comes and takes the life of one of them, that man will be taken away because of his sin, but I will hold the watchman accountable for his blood.”

Ezekiel 33:1-6

I have an old friend who was raised in Ukraine. In that country, it was against the law to be a Christian, but this young man became a believer and attended an underground church. Being a believer and Christ follower in a place where those beliefs are illegal makes obedience to God difficult. One thing that this young man did not know how to do was to follow the great commission in spreading the good news of Jesus Christ. How could he know who to trust with this secret? Who could he tell?

Years later, this man was living in the United States and attending our church in Lake Oswego. A Christian Choir from the Ukraine came to our church to perform and raise money for their efforts back home. One of the young men in the choir had been very good friends with the young man who was now living stateside. Upon their unexpected reunion the second man asked the first, “You were a believer back when we were friends. Why didn’t you tell me about Jesus?”

If you had a hundred friends stuck in a burning building and you knew the only way out, wouldn’t you tell them as soon as possible? If you know Jesus, you know how to keep your friends out of the fiery pit of hell. If you care about them, tell them. Tell them if you care about being obedient to God. Don’t worry about their judgment of you – that’s nothing!

My motives for writing this blog are not always the best. It was a project I undertook as part of my graduate school thesis project. It has certainly taught me a lot. It has prepared me for the negativity that is sure come with my book’s release. But, it has also renewed my compassion for those who do not know the love of Jesus. Those who are afraid to know. Those who think they know, but have gotten off track. And, most of all, for folks who think they’re not allowed to have their own opinions.

I’m not perfect – far from it. But I know that God loves me. And that is amazing.

Perfection [not] Required

Recently, a Follower posted this comment on my blog:

“People on this blog paint a nice picture of themselves and their family that is not entirely correct.”

I want to clarify for the entire world that I am far from perfect. I have made many regretful mistakes. My memoir does not sugar coat my life, and I don’t go easy on myself. It’s a testimony of my struggles to overcome the damning thoughts that had been imprinted on my brain throughout my early years, giving up on achieving salvation (thus the title “I’m Going to Hell for This”), and finally discovering and accepting the free gift of grace. I know that sounds too easy to be true, but it is true.

Do you think that God only uses so-called “perfect” people to do his work? There has been only one perfect person – Jesus. The rest of us are guilty sinners.

For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.

John 3:17

What is God’s work? The Great Commandment:

And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment.

And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these.

Mark 12:30-31

Very closely related to the great commandment is the Great Commission:

And Jesus came and spake unto them, saying, All power is given unto me in heaven and in earth.

Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost:

Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world. Amen.

Matthew 28:18-20

It is a sign of a changed heart to care about those who despise you. To want them to know the love and peace of Jesus. I am not on a mission to convince anyone to leave the FOC, but if my testimony and the testimonies of others through this blog can help even one person to know that they’re loved and wanted by God, then all the insults and accusations are worth it.

I am not perfect or sinless. I never have been, and unfortunately I never will be. A saved person doesn’t become perfect, but God does work in that person’s life, convicting the person’s heart. The way it feels for me is that I can still make wrong choices, but those choices bring sadness into my heart – I don’t enjoy the things I once enjoyed. An example of this is that my favorite drink before I accepted Jesus’s grace was a Vodka Martini – extra olives. A few months after making my commitment, I was out with some friends and ordered a Martini – it tasted terrible. I couldn’t even take a second sip. I believe that is how God works: he doesn’t stop us from making wrong choices, but as we put our faith in him, he makes saying “no” to those wrong choices easier.

I did not start a blog to criticize anyone. I started it to tell my own story and explore my own history. My history, the first twenty-one years of my life and further back in my folks’ history, began with the FOC. This is not a forum to say bad things about any person or put anyone on the defensive. Some of the comments hurt my feelings, but I know that the comments do not reflect on me, but on the person making the jabs – a person/people who are so insecure and scared that they hide their own identity while hurling insults and accusations. Why don’t I block anonymous comments like most blogs do? Because I don’t want to prevent anyone from joining the conversation – whether anonymous or by name. Whether in agreement or vehement disagreement.

Was the Walter White the only perfect man? No, he wasn’t perfect – he wasn’t God. Are you waiting for a perfect, sinless, man? He has already come – Jesus. You will not find another Walter, but you will find salvation. It’s free and available to you.

I am so glad that Jesus loves me – Jesus loves even me! That is not bragging – or maybe it is. It is my greatest personal, lifelong accomplishment!