Mormon Roots?

I first learned about the Mormon religion (a.k.a. The Church of Jesus Christ of Ladder Day Saints) in a United States History class in college. I had never heard about Mormons or the Book of Mormon or Joseph Smith before that time. When I heard about this man (Joseph Smith), my immediate reaction was that he was a lunatic or heretic (or both). It was just so incredibly unbelievable.

Over the years I have known several Mormon people. Some of them were very nice, well meaning people. Others were just ... not. I guess you could say that about the people who claim just about any religious affiliation, Followers included.

In 2012, a man from another Followers offshoot (The Church of the Firstborn), named Darren Russell shared a document with me called "ARTICLES OF FAITH OF THE CHURCH OF THE FIRST BORN KNOWN AS THE FOLLOWERS OF CHRIST - 1918". One anonymous commentor pointed out that the Articles of Faith were similar to the LDS Articles of Faith. Another commentor claimed that Walter White (who was the leader of the Oregon City Followers of Christ church until his death in 1969) had a maternal grandmother named Carrie, who was part of the LDS Church.

If the Followers had Mormon roots, they were quite hidden to us! We didn't read (or even know about) the Book of Mormon and the other texts the LDS church uses.

Recently, the Idaho Followers have made the news again and this time the reporter has claimed that the Followers are "fringe Mormons." Interesting. At first I dismissed this as poor reporting. But, maybe there is something to this.

If any Followers (current or former) know anything about this, would you please comment on this post and enlighten me? 

Endless Life: Feeling Trapped

Note: I've been on hiatus from blogging for a while, but I am working on a few new entries. Thank you to anyone who might still check this blog :)

*****

At age 20, life can drag on and on. Actually life can drag at any age, when a person feels trapped.

“But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day.” – 2 Peter 3:8 (NIV)

When I was seventeen, the decisions of two individuals caused my social life to end within the FOC. Of course I realize that my own decisions, words, and actions over the months and years prior to this time led up to these little shunnings. But although I had said and done some stupid and hurtful things, I hadn’t committed any “unforgivables”. I just wasn’t lucky enough to be born at the right time, or into the right family, or whatever. The fact was I had suddenly become a pariah.

So for three years I lived in a state of essential, though unofficial, shunning. Almost nobody talked to me, except this one guy, J--, who verbally assaulted me every chance he got while everyone mutely watched/listened. For three years I went to the social events and talked to virtually nobody. Toward the end, I talked to a few other similar pariahs, but I never had a chance of social success after those two people decided to destroy me.

Those three years were an eternity. Can you imagine? Three years of attending church services twice weekly, without being greeted or spoken to, or in any way acknowledged. Three years of attending dances and home parties and decorating parties while being invisible. Three years of having no life outside of my family and work.

But other things happened during those three years. I went to work and had a fair amount of success in this aspect of my life. I was trained in every aspect of automotive office management: payroll, accounts payable, receivables, warranties, new and used car titling, and month-end reports. At age twenty, I was promoted to office manager, with a staff of older/more experienced employees reporting to me. Something else happened: guys asked me out all the time. Not FOC guys, of course, but worldly guys. I couldn’t believe that so many attractive, charming, successful men would want to date me after all the social silence I’d endured at the FOC. I didn't want to date the entire world, but it was just one more indication that the "reality" I experience in the FOC didn't check with reality elsewhere.

It came down to the decision to continue living as an invisible and unwanted recluse in my parents’ basement hoping that the years of loneliness would pass quickly and the reward (the possibility of salvation for all that sacrifice) would be real or bolt into unknown territory. Was this seemingly meaningless existence even worth it?

Old Memories from Oklahoma to Oregon

As I grew up, I often attended gatherings were older folks would sit around and reminisce about how things used to be. Here is an old story from the Church of the First Born in Oklahoma:

* * * *

A Story Told to Brother Jack Robinson

by Brother Hobart Hays

My father, Brother Dave Hays with his family, was travelling from around Mehan going west to Homestead, Oklahoma, when late in the afternoon he stopped at a store in Langston to get a few groceries for he planned to camp down the trail a ways to eat and spend the night.

While he was in the store another wagon pulled up and the people in it was planning on about the same thing as my father. They met in the store and sort of got acquainted and they decided to camp together that night.

The next morning both families headed west. My father and the other man walked along beside the wagon and visited and my dad talked to him about religion. I was just a young lad then and this other man had a son about the same age as I was so we played together along the way. Later we came to the place where we were to go to Homestead so we told them all goodbye for they were going west to Leedy, Oklahoma.

Sometime later the Homestead Brethren received word that a Brother’s house burned down in Leedy. The Homestead Brethren  took up donations, bedding, and furniture, and my dad and I took it by wagon to Leedy. Other Brethren from Vici came and they all decided to stay and help rebuild the Brother’s house.

The man that we met at Langston lived just down the block from where the house had burned down and he came down to work on the house also. When the Brethren decided that they would like to have a meeting, he offered them his house to have the meeting in. Later he was baptized, his son that I played with was later baptized, also, his name was Brother Andrew Myers, who married Sister Mae Moore. They lived for years in Sapulpa, raised their family in the church there.

 * * * * *

And now a walk down memory lane in Oregon. This picture features the elders from the Oregon City Followers of Christ congregation in 1975. The occasion was the sixtieth birthday celebration of Carl Westerburg.

Carl is in the middle wearing a yellow shirt.  The man on the far right is Glenford Lee.

Mark Shumaker: A Room With Just One Door

My oldest brother, Mark, left  the Followers of Christ in 1998. He wrote this essay two years after leaving, and has given me permission to publish it here.

* * * * *

February 2000

My most powerful experience with a cultural identity started when I was three and my parents joined the Followers of Christ Church in Oregon City. To understand the impact this church had on my life, you have to understand the church. Some might say this is a cult and they are an integral part of every facet of your life. The internal culture of the church was so all-encompassing and exclusionary that the best way I can think to relate it is to compare it to a room with just one door. Those within the room share a common worldview, and reject anyone that has a perspective slightly different than the accepted norm. Everyone in the room knows about the door but stays clear of it. To experience another perspective is tantamount to rejecting the church; to accept that a differing opinion has validity is like becoming purple. They are a tight-knit group that takes care of their own. Everything you do is based in the church. The members are your extended family. You are told to associate with the Followers, not worldly people. You are encouraged to work for a Follower whenever possible, you socialize with other Followers, every life changing moment is shared with other Followers. We weren’t allowed to go to doctors because our faith should be strong to see us through. We were only to marry someone from within the church, and everybody came to the wedding. It was its own culture, and it was mine as well. All this sounds wonderful except for the fact that if you were not born into the church, you lacked the status it took to rise to higher levels within the church. Higher education was discouraged due to the exposure to worldly ideas and knowledge. The women mostly stayed at home with the children. The church grounded their teachings on the Bible and at some time, all of the doctrines seemed to make sense. The Followers are a very close group, encouraging each other in times of death or illness. It is a kind of security blanket when growing up because you know that if your parents aren’t available for you and you need adult guidance, a friend’s dad or mom will be there for you.

            I played by the rules and was married in this environment, and I kept things going and held my family together until about two years ago. It was then that I discovered how hard it is to withdraw from this type of environment. My wife at the time did not want to adhere to the teachings of the church, in fact, she made it clear that she was rejecting everything I had ever believed or worked for. She made this clear through her actions; what she also made clear was that the marriage was over. I had to try to keep everything together for our family by myself. I made some conscious decisions about my life and the direction I wanted my children’s lives to take. Having one’s marriage fall apart is hard enough, by the idea of losing the backing of the church and my friends in the church was almost more than I could bear. The Followers of Christ church defined my whole world and they did not believe in divorce. There was no longer any place in the “room” for me, my only choice was to leave it. I chose to do so by opening the door. I did not know at that time that doing so would force me to reexamine everything that I ever held as truth or that I ever thought was important. I had to learn to trust others. I realized higher education was something I not only wanted but also deserved. The opportunity to make the best life for my kids and me was very important to me.

            It has been a long road, and it is not over. I do not know that it ever will be. Everything I do or experience I now see through two lenses. The worldview of my youth will most likely shade my perspectives for the rest of my life, but I am learning to view the world through lenses that are less restricting. I question my reactions to most new things to make sure that it is not left over from my previous indoctrination. Periodically I review my beliefs and I question them striving to be ever vigilant in what I accept as truth and what I let alter the course of my life. Since my divorce, I am better able to accept new things in my life. I have started going to a new church, am involved in the Cub Scouts (which wasn’t allowed for me as a youth) and I have a new relationship with a woman who had never heard of the Followers’ church before she met me. The daily walk can still be a tough one at times but I am happier and more self-assured than ever before.

The True Followers

I have received some church history and will be posting snapshots from this very dense material. Please forgive the somewhat confusing diction. Other than minor details, this is the wording used in the original documentation:

* * * * *

In 1918, when most of the churches changed their names from True Followers of Christ to the name of The General Assembly and Church of the Firstborn, the church that is located between Cleo Springs and Ringwood, Oklahoma decided that to change the name of the church would make them heretics. This resulted in them rejecting all of the other churches.

This church has had many splits since that time. One of the groups that split off years ago have a church that was started by Brother Marion Reece at Ringwood and some of his descendants are still attending that church. Three of Marion Reece’s grandsons were elders of that congregation. The had meetings there on the forth Sunday of the month and every Thursday night. Charlie Smith was the brother that moved to Idaho and started that group there. The brethren that lived west of Enid that go by the True Followers use the scripture for a woman to keep silence in church, and forbid women to speak in prophecy in the church.

The following church history was received by Brother Jack Robinson in the early 1980s:

Followers of Christ Church

Minsters through the years from the early days’ history:

Mr. Burton – baptized Mr. Brewer

Mr. Brewer – baptized Mr. McDonald

Mr. McDonald – baptized Mr. Marion Reece

Mr. Marion Reece – Baptized Mr. Tommie Morris

Mr. Marion Reece – Baptized John Morris

Mr. Tommie Morris – baptized W.A. Morris

Mr. Tommie Morris – baptized Marion Morris

Church was built on John Morris’ land in 1946 where he had homesteaded 60x23 feet – later more square feet was added on. John Morris pleased, after long discussion that one day he drove by W.A. Morris and Jon and Duane had hauled the first loads of sand and makings for foundation.

When John Morris was asked what we’d call church after it was built, he replied, “it’s Church in Wildwood for Followers of Christ.

Marion Reece married Lydia Morris.

W.A. Morris and Marion Morris were John Morris’s sons.

Prior to 1940 – George Long and George Oakley were ministers. The elders were Elliott and Reed.

Charlie Smith married Sally Morris and moved away from the church to the northwest. He ordained White and Baldwin.

The split up the Ringwood, Oklahoma church came in 1940 on the third Sunday meeting. George Long and George Oakley didn’t agree about fornication and certain teachings. Therefore, John Morris told them that he would continue to have church on the fourth Sunday meeting at a school near where he lived until 1946 when the building was built on his land.

John Morris and his son Marion Morris ordained Ed Long, John’s nephew. Elders W.A. Morris, his son, Cecil Morris Senior.

After John Morris passed away, Marion Morris and W.A. Morris, and Cecil Morris senior carried on as church elders. After the elder Jack Watkins passed away, they ordained elders Jim Wallace, Ted Nakvinda, and Gary Wallace.

Men who spoke in tongues in the past included: George Oakley, Charlie Smith, Will Nichols, Jim Hayes, Monroe Testamen, and Alva Brown.

This was verified by W.A. Morris and submitted by his niece, Joyce Morris.

 

She Shunned the Wrong Sister

My sister Karin left church when I was thirteen. She was sent to live with my dad’s sister in California. The reasons were not explained, but I figured it out by snooping and eavesdropping. Like so much of our lives in the Followers of Christ, this event was controversial and used against us.

At thirteen years old, I had girls at church throw my sister’s life and choices in my face. One girl, whose dad had admitted to multiple extramarital affairs, informed me that her parents didn’t want her to be my friend because of my sister.

When I was seventeen I worked at the Oregon City Fred Meyer. Not a lot of Followers shopped in the store for groceries because we were supposed to buy our food at the W-B Food Mart, which was owned and run by Follower men.

But one day I saw a woman from church. She had been one of my sister’s best friends. I called out to her. For the sake of privacy, I will call her Danielle, but that is not her real name.

“Hi Danielle,” I called out to her as she walked by.

But she didn’t seem to hear me.

“Danielle,” I called louder this time. But she kept going.

I called her name several times and she never turned her head to look. I assumed she had really terrible hearing and went on with my life.

But a few weeks later, my sister-in-law told me that Danielle had heard me and had shunned me because she believed I was Karin. Yeah, Karin and I did look a lot alike and our voices are so identical that I can fool her children and my dad into thinking I’m her on the phone. But, seriously, a nod or simple hello would’ve been so simple. This woman really had to have a lot of self-control to act like someone calling her name was invisible.

That spring Danielle was a softball coach for one of our church’s women’s softball teams. And guess what? She picked me to be on her team. It was her way of making up for the mistaken shunning. I hated being on Danielle’s softball team. Looking back, I wish I would’ve just said that I didn’t want to play that year after all.

They Disappear Before Unmasking

Even though our church did not allow outsiders to join our ranks, there was one event each year,  when we always suspected there were strangers among us: the annual Halloween party.

There was always an odd feeling – almost that evil was in the air at the Halloween party, which was held every year on the Friday evening nearest Halloween. This event wasn’t just for teenagers. Adults and children also jumped into the action. It was great fun to dress up as something secret and have people stumped as to who was inside the costume.

One year, my friends and I dressed as VHS movie boxes (yes, showing my age with that detail). We went to a video rental store and got movie posters to glue to our oversized boxes. I was so into the whole disguise thing that I swiped my older brothers Air Jordans (which were the most coveted pair of shoes in those days), and used mascara to darken my arm hairs so people would guess it was a guy in my costume. I felt victorious when a group of boys surrounded us and tried to guess who we were by listing off the guys who owned a pair of Air Jordans.

1990 Halloween Party (not so undercover)

Near the end of the party was the unmasking, where all the costumed people would line up and wait for their turn to step up on the stage by the band and remove their disguise. But there were always some people who just never stayed at the party long enough to reveal their true identities. Strangers? Worldly people? Ex-followers? I worried that they were evil spirits and demons; so I stayed away from the parking lot during those parties.

God's Only Chosen People

Please note: The portion of today's blog about the Idaho churches is based on my second hand knowledge. If there are any discrepancies or inaccuracies, please let me know and I will update with the correct information.

* * * *

Do you think it's odd that the folks in the Oregon City Followers of Christ church believe they're the chosen ones? That all others are condemned by virtue of not being born into this select group?

Well, they're not the only ones who believe God only cares about them. On Wednesday, I wrote a blog questioning what happened in Idaho. Why did a large group of the church migrate to Oregon City. The best answer I could get was that there was said to be a preacher in the Idaho church who had been discovered in an extramarital affair and was allowed to continue preaching. That's what we were told. In Idaho, members were told that Walter White had a wrong spirit, and were warned to stay away from Oregon City.

There are at least four Followers of Christ churches operating in Idaho. The group in Marsing, Idaho is led by the preacher Ken Algers. It is a welcoming congregation. In fact, I'm told that Brother Ken was actually called to be an evangelist. The role of an evangelist is to bring the unsaved to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ.

Closely related to the Marsing, Idaho group is a small church in Grants Pass, led by the preacher John Mead. Brother John and Brother Ken often travel to each other's congregations to minister to the both of these bodies of believers.

Elsewhere in Idaho, somewhere in the mountains is another Followers of Christ congregation that is also friendly with the Marsing and Grants Pass group, and welcoming to newcomers.

But there are more splinter groups. The group in Boise disapproves of the Marsing group and will not associate with them. I'm told that the Boise group functions similarly to the Oregon City sect in regards to associating with outsiders. There is also a group in Caldwell, Idaho that is closed off and believes that they are God's only chosen people.

What Really Happened in Idaho?

For two years from 2005 until 2007, I taught in a rural junior/senior high school in Southern Oregon. Three periods of seventh grade English and three periods of eighth grade United States history. Some of those eighth graders whined the common refrain of "why do we have to learn history?" so many times, that I used it as a classroom theme and made them create posters advocating reasons that knowing history is important. Here are some of the ideas they came up with:

• So we don't repeat past mistakes.
• History has a lot of good and interesting stories.
• A common set of knowledge.
• To understand how we got to where we are.
• So we understand what the reporters on the news are talking about.
• So Jay Leno doesn't make us look like stupid Americans in a street interview.
• History helps us understand people and society.
• Knowing history is important for good citizenship.
• To understand what adults are talking about.
• To improve our reading and comprehension skills.
• History provides a cultural identity.

So, as I think about what happened in Idaho and why some of the members of the Marsing, Idaho Followers of Christ church decided to leave and migrate to Oregon City, I ask myself why it's important. This happened in the 1930s and 1940s. Most of the people involved are no longer living (probably all of the folks are, in fact, dead). So, why bring it up? Why is it important?

It is an important question to me because I want to understand the confusion and lack of direction, lack of understanding, and most importantly the lack of hope that I grew up under. Why couldn't we go to Idaho and get baptized? Why couldn't one of the preachers from Idaho come to Oregon City to baptize people and provide leadership?

As a child, I had the feeling that the entire state of Idaho was pure evil. Whenever Riley and Glenford spoke of the Idaho church, it was to warn us to stay away from their evil ways. The only answer I could get on what was so bad about Idaho, was the vague idea that the Idaho church encouraged young people to "sow their wild oats" before getting baptized, getting married, and settling into a serious pursuit of the faith. I don't know if there was truth to that claim, but I have heard that this sort of thing still goes on over there.

I've also heard that the split was over the issue of women's hair. The Idaho group (the one that we in Oregon City thought were so sinful) believed women should not cut their hair. The Oregon City group allowed women to have hair cuts.

I'd love to hear comments from folks who know more about why the Idaho-Oregon City split happened.

What’s with the Name of this Blog?

Well, this is a blog about faith. And what is faith? It is believing in something that you cannot see, touch, or hold, but you KNOW it’s there.

I know that air exists for two reasons: one is that I’ve been taught about air and can read about air in textbooks, and the other one is that I have personally experienced air.

Many people think that the Followers of Christ are a bit strange to live in our modern times here in the United States and practice faith healing. But, if you ask most Christians, they will tell you that they also believe in and rely on faith to heal, when necessary through the help of medical intervention.

Just like I have faith that air exists, without seeing it, I know that God exists. Like air, I have heard about God, read about God, and felt God’s presence. I cannot see God’s face, but I can see God’s creation.

Just a few days ago, I stood outside staring up at the evening sky – a beautiful cerulean with perfect patterns of fluffy white cotton ball clouds. I called my kids outside, and soon several others in the neighborhood came out to see what we were looking at. I love looking at the sky and admiring the world God has created for us to live in. Clear night skies are my favorite. I feel God’s presence at night when staring up at the stars.

An important point I want to make is that I’ve read about a great deal of things that millions of people have faith in, but I do not. The list include: crop circles/alien sightings, the Mormon story, the Lockness monster, Bigfoot, the Big Bang theory, and many more. I’ve read about these things and heard about these things from reliable sources: textbooks, the Internet, documentaries, and hard-core believers. And yet, I have no faith in any of them. Unlike air and God, the “evidence” does not convince me.

So, does air exist? Does God?

Name explained.

Keepsakes From the F.O.C.

I have a lot of good memories from my childhood and young adulthood with the Followers. I also have several momentos of this time in my life - mostly in the form of photographs, which would upset far too many folks if I published them. So, here are some objects I've held onto throughout the years:

Medical Abstinence Alert Bracelet:
"Suzanne M. Shumaker, Route 2 Box 380, Beavercreek, Oregon
632-6736, FOLLOWERS, Kin - Alton C"

In 1986, when church services were reduced to the singing of 10 hymns, church women got together to craft these lovely personalized song book covers.

I wasn't supposed to decorate my book...

A Song Book without a cover

Mom wrote down the key Bible verses that our church followed and other "worldly" churches disregarded, that White pointed out - such as the Holy Kiss and the Signs of the True Believer

 

My favorite souvenirs - church cookbooks. There are some delicious recipes in these two books - love the chicken pot pie from the 1989 book "Recipes from Friends." 

Beverly Penrod: Terrified of God, Walter, and Haircuts

Last Wednesday, I received the following email from Beverly Penrod, the niece of Ernest Nichols, the rejected FOC preacher. She graciously gave me permission to publish her letter here.

As with all of my guest bloggers, the opinions and statements of the guest do not necessarily reflect my own beliefs or experiences.

* * * * *

My name is Beverly Penrod. My cousin told me how to reach your blog. I spent the biggest share of yesterday and many hours today reading it. I couldn’t sleep last night due to the memories flooding back. I was born into the Followers of Christ in 1942. My memories are of the church not good. No they are frightening. 
 
I can only say that Walter White is the devil himself and my Uncle Ernest Nichols was close behind.
 
We attended church in Caldwell until Walter and, I think his name was Vern Baldwin, had a fight, disagreement, argument or whatever. I do not remember much about the Idaho church. We followed Walter to Oregon City, to California, and back to Oregon City. I think that is the order of our moves. I was very young. We moved wherever he went or where we were told to go. My granddad, Kenneth Robert Sayre, was an Elder. I am not sure if he was ordained Caldwell or Oregon City. 

Church doctrine was strictly enforced in our home. I can remember my mother crying because she could not cut her hair. It was her crowning glory. Her hair was very thin and she wanted it styled. She was shamed. My grandmother popped my mouth for asking what God looked like. I was five years old. We were not allowed to talk about God. We were taught to fear God. Hell Fire and Damnation. If we strayed from what Walter taught we were doomed to hell. Even to get a haircut or wonder what God looked like. 

Uncle Ernest preached also. Walter, Uncle Ernest, and the elders picked someone to rebuke during Sunday’s service. This was truly frightening with the screaming and crying. People were made to stand and hopefully confess their sin. I think the rebuking was the most frightening thing to my young ears. My grandparents told me how the people were selected after we were shunned. The kissing was also frightening. It was awful having all of those old people kiss me on the lips. I still to this day do not want to be kissed on the lips by anyone. 

So I was terrified of God. Of getting a haircut. Of people yelling and crying during services. Of kisses. Of going to hell. Of making Walter or Uncle Ernest mad which was a sure way to get to hell. When I was 11 or 12 Walter baptized a lot of people in the river. I was one of them. I don’t remember if it was the Clackamas or the Willamette River. Guess it doesn’t matter. I didn’t want to go to hell. Then came the shunning. Another kind of hell.

Walter and Uncle Ernest scared the hell out of people to get them to do their bidding, but Uncle Ernest did not agree with everything Walter said and did. But Uncle was as guilty as Walter when it came to who would be shunned and controlled. Uncle Ernest and Aunt May had a small grocery store and Walter decided that everyone should shop there. My grandmother refused and Walter told granddad that he had to divorce her if he could not control her. Grandma and granddad lived to celebrate 50 years of marriage. 

Of course we could not go to a doctor and if we went to a dentist we could not have pain meds or Novocain. I still have an insane fear of dentists. When I was eight or nine years old I was stricken with Rheumatic fever. I was sick for months and my family was sure I was dying. Walter and the elders were called in to lay on hands. I was on the road to recovery in weeks. I firmly believe in the power of prayer in healing. I have experienced it more than once. So I cannot knock all aspects of the church. However the Followers’ cemetery is full of my beloved aunts and uncles and cousins who died very young from easily cured diseases and babies that were never given a chance. 
  
My family (grandparents, mother, sister and myself and various cousins) were shunned when granddad had to move from Oregon City for his health. Walter and Uncle said that if granddad’s faith was strong enough he would be healed in Oregon City. We were not shunned right away. Uncle Orin Keith wrote a letter a few years later. It about killed my grandmother. A great sadness came over most of my family. It installed a deep hatred of everything and everyone in the Followers of Christ.

I have been able to forgive, but I will never forget. The fear, the heartbreak, the pity I have for my family that remain in the church. I am very comfortable with my God. A kind, forgiving, merciful, loving God. 

Oh yes before I forget Uncle Ernest left the church. I think due to problems with Walter. Anyway his five kids shunned him. My aunts in Oklahoma cried at how the kids were treating their father. My sister and I at the same time said “it couldn’t happen to a nicer guy.” I think Deaner may have seen Uncle after the shunning. 

I have had a hard time sleeping since I read your blog.  The church you write about sounds like a softer gentler one than I remember.  Since I read your blog the memories have come flooding back.  The fear of Walter most of all.  I go to sleep thinking about him and the church ect are on my mind when I wake up.

I am most grateful to know that Jesus is my way to heaven and not Walter White.  

Unconditional Love

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Christmas day, 1994, Randy and I were home alone. Our first Christmas together. Twenty miles away, my parents, brothers, sisters-in-law, nieces, and nephews were celebrating Christmas. I didn’t expect to be included. I had made choices, and I was aware of the consequences.

We had shunned my sister, Karin, when I was in eighth grade. But we didn’t really shun her – not completely. My parents never shunned her. My brothers didn't speak to her for years, and I treated her like she was leper. But a few times a year my folks would take the younger kids (my youngest older brother and I) to visit my sister in California. And her kids. I loved those kids - still do.

Then the family shunned me, because I married the wrong person. I was twenty-one. My parents didn't shun me because I did the exact same thing they had done – Mom married my dad when he was a worldly person - but I wasn't included in the holidays that first year. Anyway, I didn’t do anything shun-worthy and my parents were smart enough to know that. My brothers eventually let me back into their lives as well.

My oldest brother left in 1999 and then my other two brothers and my parents left. We could be back together. Sort-of. Because two of the brothers were moving to Idaho. And there were years of hurt feelings and strain left in our relationships.

We weren't raised to give love unconditionally. We weren’t raised to believe in unconditional love from God. God would love us if we deserved it. But my folks loved us even though we didn’t always deserve it. My parents understood unconditional love despite that place.

I have my entire family and I love them unconditionally – though the strain is often still there. I am so glad to have discovered that Jesus loves me despite my sins. I am worthy because of Jesus. That is good news people.

I still fear Hell. I still obsess about it. I have been battling these thoughts and fears the past thirty-some years. They don’t just go away. Sometimes I have peace and sometimes I do not. I understand what the Bible says about grace, but those legalistic tapes from the past rear their ugly heads to put doubt into my mind. A friend pointed out to me how unreasonable my fears are.

She said, “That’s like saying to your own kids – I will only love you if you’re good, but if you’re bad, I will throw you out in the back yard and burn you to death.” Would I do that to my children? Never!

Think about how much you love your little children. God loves you MORE than that. Do you have loved ones you are shunning? If you, do, please think about if God would want you to treat them like that. 

I’m so grateful for my family. We’re not perfect – but I can call up anyone in my family and they will take my phone call! They will give me the time of day. The only valid reason I can think of for shunning someone is if they raped or murdered someone I loved. Seriously. If you want or need me in your life, I will be there. How sad that not everybody can say the same about their own children, parents, siblings, and cousins.

Why Not Try It?

How many folks in the FOC have never attended a church service that included a sermon? How many have never seen a live baptism (as opposed to seeing one in a movie)?

Legend has it that when Walter White was alive, he invited preachers from other denominations to come to the building on Molalla Avenue and deliver sermons. After the guest preacher was done, they would debate the points of the man’s sermon.

Older ones also say that Walter encouraged members of his flock to visit other churches. He said if they stuck around long enough they would discover the other churches’ faults. He told folks to come to him with questions that came up from visiting these other services.

Walter encouraged it, and any folks who take his advice are guaranteed to learn something from the experience. Why not try it? I'm not saying you should leave permanently - as I'm sure Walter was not - but why not see what church is like in other denominations?

Walter White (standing - right), his three brothers:
Orville (seated - left),
Clarence (standing - left), and Melvine (seated - right)
with their mother, Eva White

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

Since I began this blog a year ago, I have received many emails from people both inside the group and outsiders who want to help their friends and acquaintances. The questions I get most often are: “Should I leave?” and “How do I help my friend get out?”

Contrary to what many people may assume about me, I am not on a mission to create a mass exodus. Do I think you should leave? I don’t know. How can you help someone else make that decision? I don’t know. It depends on your age, family situation, and tolerance for rejection.

Although, I am not on a mission to tell people what to do with their lives, since I’ve been asked this question so many times, I have created a decision chart to help individuals consider the variables. If you click the flowchart, you will be able to read it more clearly.

Disclaimer: this chart is intended for examination purposes only and should not be considered personal advice. In the words of Dr. Phil: "do not replace my judgement for your own."

If you are seriously considering leaving, please seek the spiritual counsel of an ordained minister or pastor.

A Letter From Walter White

Boise, Idaho

July 19, 1939

Dear Brother Lawrence and Sister Vera,

I hope this shock doesn’t affect your heart. It’s seldom anyone gets to read my handwriting so I hope you are able. And this finds you feeling well and happy and enjoying those things God has provided you. Yet a little while and he that cometh will come and will not tarry. God showed me you and Vera! You was playing sweet music from a harp. Vera raised up, she looked tired and weary and said to me, “Oh, I’m tired!” I said to her, “There remaineth a rest for the people for the people of God.” Then we began to dance out in a green pasture and the spirit guided us as we danced. It just seemed wonderful. It was perfect. You was still playing music on the harp. I hope and pray the time will come when I can see you play that new harp in the kingdom of God. My prayer to God is you brethren never get weary in well doing, but with faith, hope, and charity enter the kingdom. I believe the more we suffer and sacrifice her for Christ, the bigger the reward. As brother George said when he was talking in meeting, he said, I believe in degree in hell and also degrees in heaven. So that gives me hope of one degree. I hope I miss the fire. I wish I was there with you, it would be easier for me to talk. But God knows what is best for us. All things worketh together for good to them that love the lord. Elven and Mary was out last night, had supper with us. They seem to be having trials too.

Lawrence, we must be the people John seen coming up through great tribulations having their garments washed and made white in the blood of the Lamb.

Don’t never get tired of your [unreadable] God has given you. Nor slowfull but always fervent in the spirit. Always patient toward all men. Gentle, an example to all the brethren. That you might save yourself and your house. Uncle George told us in meeting he seen Brother Charley Smith and Brother Marion Reece appear to him just like an angel. They were talking together about the church. I hope we will be worthy to be with them soon and see all the brethren rejoicing with our lord. The brethren are pretty well here now. We haven’t had much sickness this summer as yet. I hope the brethren down there are not getting slowful in coming to meeting and are able to receive the food God has for them by them he has chosen to feed them. “If you love me feed my sheep, feed my lambs.” Brother Lawrence I hope we are worthy and able and when the chief shepherd shall appear we shall receive a crown of life. I feel like many times I’m to [sic] home in the body and absent from the lord.

I have been working pretty steady since I came without much wages, but I'm living so I guess I should be contented. I don’t know when I will be able to be with you brethren again. I hope it won’t be too long. I sure have a desire to see you all. May God be with you and your family and kinsmen and all the brethren is my earnest prayer.

Pray for us.

Good bye,

Walter and Family

Sunday Night Parties

Old Church Building
Where the Dances Were Held Until 1999

Our church had dances every Sunday night during the school year that we called the Sunday Night Party. There were several bands, made up of teenage boys and adult men. The bands were good - they played old Rock and Roll and Country music.

Girls had to be thirteen to dance and boys had to be fourteen. At the dances, the girls would stand in one corner, the boys would stand or sit opposite the girls. Boys would come and tap a girl on the shoulder by way of asking her to dance.

Once or twice a year the twelve-year-old girls and thirteen-year-old boys would be invited to dance lessons in the old church building. When I was there, dances were held in the old church - they are now held in the back of the new church sanctuary - an addition was added to the back of the church about the time I left church (late 1999-early 2000) because the fire code did not allow for the amount of people who crowded into the old building for special occasions.

Front of the New Building

Every other Friday night, year round, young virginal couples could marry at church and a dance would follow the wedding. Nearly every special occasion featured a dance as well: Halloween (with full costumes), Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years (all night until 6:00am), Valentine's Day, Easter, and our own version of Prom. The special occasion and weddings were events that often included dates afterward. Boys would also ask girls out for "carloads" after the Sunday night parties - where a group of kids would go down to Shari's and eat snacks or dessert.



For a while I loved the Sunday Night Parties, for the first few years. But as I got older, I came to hate them. I hated waiting around for a boy to ask me to dance. I hated that when the band would call out "Ladies' Choice" the boys would go outside to smoke. I hated getting dressed up only to be rejected. I especially disliked the expectation that I would continue to go to these teenage events after I was eighteen, nineteen, twenty. There was just no place to fit in for a young adult who was not married or engaged.

Back of the New Building
Where the Dances are Now Held

In the Idaho FOC, there are no dances. Couples do not even get married at church. Most of the members do not believe dancing is an appropriate activity - quite the difference considering the Oregon City group originated in Idaho. The young adults in Idaho do socialize with each other, but the church doesn't keep them nearly as organized and scheduled as in Oregon City. I'm told they also associate with people from outside the church and can marry whomever they choose. 

Is Rebaptism Biblical?

As much as I enjoy exploring religious topics and learning about the history of the Christian church and its myriad sects, I am far from being a biblical scholar or theologian. Please keep this in mind as I explore the important and controversial subject of baptism and rebaptism.

The Followers teach that only a very special man can perform biblical baptism. The man must be “called” by God to be a preacher. The calling comes about in ways that are clear to both the newly called preacher and to other godly men who have confirmation visions, dreams, or other signs. A man cannot just say, “I’ve been called” and be accepted, it must be confirmed by others.



When I was young, I knew some older people in the church who had been baptized in other churches and then joined the Followers where they were told they needed a true baptism by a man called by God – Walter. Two of the folks who were baptized by Walter after having been baptized earlier in their lives were my uncle and my grandmother (on my dad’s side of the family). Both of them left the church after Walter died and before my birth. I'm told (and the baptism records confirm) that in the last few months of Walter’s baptism ministry, many outsiders came to be baptized, and very few of them stayed around long after his death.

So I have been wondering about this: is rebaptism biblical? Is it necessary? In my search, the first bible verse I found led me to believe that rebaptism is not biblical:

There is one body, and one Spirit, even as ye are called in one hope of your calling; one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is above all, and through all, and in you all.

Ephesians 4:5-6 (KJV)

But that didn’t address the claim that only certain baptisms count – the critical belief among the Followers that the person doing the baptism holds the key to salvation. Last December, Jerry Patton wrote a guest blog exploring the requirements for a person who performs baptisms. Who Can Baptize? 

I wasn’t satisfied with the very brief hint of “one baptism” in the Ephesians verse, so I read up a bit more and found other relevant verses. This verse, from the book of Acts, refers to some men who had been baptized by John the Baptist, and then were rebaptized by the apostle Paul, in the name of Jesus.

And it came to pass, that, while Apollos was at Corinth, Paul having passed through the upper coasts came to Ephesus: and finding certain disciples, he said unto them, have ye received the Holy Ghost since ye believed? And they said unto him, we have not so much as heard whether there be any Holy Ghost.  And he said unto them, unto what then were ye baptized? And they said, unto John's baptism. Then said Paul, John verily baptized with the baptism of repentance, saying unto the people, that they should believe on him which should come after him, that is, on Christ Jesus. When they heard this, they were baptized in the name of the Lord Jesus. And when Paul had laid his hands upon them, the Holy Ghost came on them; and they spake with tongues, and prophesied.

Acts 19: 1-6

This verse brings up another question: most churches (including, I’m told, The Church of the Firstborn) baptize “in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost” but here we are told to be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ.

Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved.

Acts 4:12

I grew up believing, as I was told, that baptism is what saves a person’s soul. But as an adult, the vast majority of Christians I met outside the FOC believed that making a commitment to follow Christ, along with a prayer (the sinner’s prayer) asking for forgiveness and inviting Jesus into one's heart was what saves. As a Follower, I understood Jesus’s statement to Nicodemus in John 3:5: “Very truly I tell you, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless they are born of water and the Spirit” to mean that you must be baptized with water to be saved. While the understanding of most Christians is that being “born of water” happens to us at birth, and being born of the Spirit happens when we accept the free gift of salvation through Jesus Christ. And this makes sense; I accepted the new explanation with relief. But I have been digging deeper into scripture and I wonder about other verses such as this:

He that believeth and is baptized shall be saved; but he that believeth not shall be damned.

Mark 16:16 (KJV)

I’m not sure what to make of it. In the first part of the sentence it is belief and baptism that saves; but the second half states that unbelief results in damnation. Is it possible that those who believe, but are not baptized will end up in neither heaven nor hell? And here is another verse that leads me to the conclusion that baptism is a requirement of salvation:

Then Peter said unto them, Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost.

Acts 2:28 (KJV)

I had never realized that the New Testament refers to the baptism of Noah’s family. Here it is along with a clear indication that baptism leads to salvation:

to those who were disobedient long ago when God waited patiently in the days of Noah while the ark was being built. In it only a few people, eight in all, were saved through water, and this water symbolizes baptism that now saves you also—not the removal of dirt from the body but the pledge of a clear conscience toward God. It saves you by the resurrection of Jesus Christ,

1 Peter 3:20-21 (NIV)

In doing the research for this blog entry, I spoke to a number of fundamentalists. Two of them said that rebaptism is a sin and is recrucifying Christ. I tried to find a biblical reference for this – but found that this idea may have originated with Martin Luther (the protestant reformer who brought to light the sins and heresies of the Catholic Church). The term Anabaptist means to re-baptize, and centuries ago, Anabaptists were executed for their beliefs.



I have a lot of questions. I find that the more I learn the less confidence I have in what I “know.”  A good sign of spiritual (and intellectual) growth, I think. What do you think? Is rebaptism a sin? Who has the authority to baptize people? And, if people back in Walter White’s days were rebaptized by him, then why is it such an unforgivable sin when one of the Followers gets baptized in another church? Is it better to remain unbaptized, considering all the evidence of our need for baptism? And if God does send you another leader, can’t those people just be rebaptized?