Wednesday, September 19, 2012

First, We Sang 10 Songs; and Then Things Got Interesting


On Saturday evening at 5:35, I loaded my two children and their four playmates into the borrowed navy blue van (which came with the four extra children) to drive twenty minutes to our destination.


At the children’s ministry desk, I checked in my two children and registered each of the other four, who were just one time visitors. Thirteen minutes later, the kids were checked into children’s church. Unburdened by my wiggly, giggly, screechy companions, I walked down to the main sanctuary.


At 6:09 pm I walked through the doors of the sanctuary into darkness. To my right was the soundproof cry room, where parents of babies can sit and observe church through windows and hear the service through the speakers. I walked through the second set of doors and into the church sanctuary. The room was darkened and the congregation was standing singing along with the worship band “We Are Here for You.” Twin screens about 10’x12’ displayed one or two stanzas of the song at a time. There were no song books.

The next song was a familiar hymn from my days as a Follower: “Jesus Paid it All.” As these old hymns so often do, this one brought tears to my eyes and a rush of memories. We sang eight more songs and as I sang along with the congregation, I looked around and wondered who in this large room really deserved to be there. Who should I shun? Who is not worthy? Of course I knew the answer – it was me. I was not worthy to be there, but I was loved and welcomed anyway.

After the tenth worship song, the worship leader prayed while the congregation remained on their feet.

At 6:27 pm, the worship leader asked us to prepare our tithes and offerings while we listen to a prerecorded four minute video with church announcements, bible studies, potlucks, women’s retreat information, and student ministries announcements. I wrote a check and felt guilty for giving less than a full tithe.

The pastor is my age. He’s dorky, but in a cool way. He and his gorgeous wife have been married twenty years and they have five children. He wears black-rimmed glasses and has a soul patch on his chin (which he used to refer to as his “flavor-saver” but I think someone finally clued him into what that term actually means). His dark hair was styled with hair gel and came to a point near the top of his forehead. He was wearing grey slacks, rolled up at the bottom and a blue t-shirt.

The congregation is mostly young. Most people are in their thirties, forties, and fifties. Not many older folks. And the people who go to this church are quite attractive (maybe it’s from clean living).

The pastor asked us to pull out our bibles and follow along. The sermon was the third in a series of four sermons about heart conditions. This one was about half-heartedness (Luke 8:14).  The pastor paced and bopped around the stage while sharing anecdotes. He was getting our attention and getting warmed up for the meat of the lesson – the sermon would come back to his opening stories several times. The sermon, which started out light, quickly became serious.

After the service, we stood to sing again. The first song was another hymn from the past.We sang a final worship song – the twelfth song of the service, the pastor prayed for us again and the lights came on. I turned and talked with my best friend. On the way out, we stopped and visited with others. No harsh feelings, no glares, no shunning, no gossip. 

19 comments:

  1. NO gossip? That doesn't sound like church at all! A soul patch! He can't be a christian. If you pull up a picture of Walter white, that's what a preacher, no, an apostle looks like. If they're overweight, then they can't be right. If they have a tattoo( that's showing) they also must be wrong! Well Walter had one, but he covered it, so that makes it holy. Your pastor is about to be torn apart for not looking holy enough, so hold on to your short tything shorts girlfriend!

    ReplyDelete
  2. You are wrong that people are going to attack Suzanne about anything. This blog totaly "jumped the shark" and the foc has lost interest. Suzanne is a joke and it's obvious that she is looking for material for her book... She should start on other churches if she wants more material.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My book is already finished. Just editing and polishing. Thanks for the idea though.

      Delete
    2. How typical and hypocritical to say FOC people are not going to attack Suzanne, then you attack her yourself by saying she is a joke.

      Delete
  3. suzi, I love you. you are the best sister ever. you are a wonderful aunt and mom and well i could go on and on. i am excited to ready our book.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thank you for being so transparent, and loving toward the world. I love you Suzi!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Suzi, I'm curious. The first time you went to a service where the pastor actually preached a sermon from the Bible, what did you think? The scene you describe above sounds so normal to most Christians, yet I know from reading your work that it is not how you were raised. I'm sorry you missed out on a true Christian experience as a child, but I'm so glad you are getting to enjoy it now. Hugs.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. to be honest, the first few times I went to a preaching church, I was so overwhelmed that I had a hard time processing everything.

      Because of my background, I question a lot of things that are said if it doesn't align with my previous beliefs. I want biblical proof in order to accept what is said to me.

      Delete
  6. It is difficult to take in. When you have a perception on how church is to be preformed. It can be very difficult to take it all in. I know from my experiance that I went into sencery overload when I went into churches after leaving the foc. That person has a hat on, wow that women is wearing pants, this church band is very loud, this one has no instruments at all. It was enough to send me into overload. But what is being said or preached is what I came to hear. Does it go along with the bible. The accuser wins when he can distract one from hearing the gospel message. When he can move our attition to other distractions. I also had a block or a mental image on what a church should look like feel like smell like and it all had to do with how I was brought up. I had fooled my self that I had attended church for 26 years with nothing spoken from the pulpit. Not a word. There was songs pages called out by Tim and others, there was prayers requested by people that was needing them. And that was all good things in the sight of the lord I believe. But the word was never spoken, the gospel message ever uttered aloud or in conversation. It is crippling when you enter another building. But when the word of God is preached, when the gospel message is spoken and people respond that is the power of God. That is the power of the word, not form the man speaking it. If it was about the man speaking than that would take away form the power of the word. It should not be about the man but about what is being said. Or the siliance that has not been spoken.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Suzi, are you going to end your blog now that you have finished your book? I have read every entry & reply. Some people were very interesting & others just quoted the bible at every opportunity. Have you noticed that each person interprets the bible to fit their wants or needs? And yet, each group has the true word; they never interpret anything.....I think that is a bit of an inigma.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi, thanks for reading. I will continue blogging, though, at some point I will begin a new theme/topic. I still have plenty to write about :)

      Delete
  8. I'm sure you do. Women like you never learn when to shut up!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. people like you never learn the value of women and truth. just keep talking and let the world know how ignorant you are.

      Delete
  9. Are going to shut her up? Do you have any authority over her? Comments like that makes us all look bad. I am a foc and I disagree with a lot of things Suzanne has said about us but some of the info she has put on this blog has value to me. If it wasn't for this blog I wouldnt have seen Charlie Smiths letters. I don't like that this blog has become a place to bash on followers. Suzanne is telling her version which is definitely not the whole story. People that hate us will cling to her story and all the negative comments as the whole truth. All I want is for me and mine to be saved, if I am despised for that its ok with me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am very grateful to Suzanne for letting me get my story told. I did not want to bash Followers. And I certainly do not hate any of you that are Followers. All the family I have left are in your church. I have one aunt left (I think) and many cousins. I have some very fond memories of the church. No of the people. Sunday dinners after church, church picnics, but mostly my family. I have seen them a few times. The last was at my mother's funeral. I do not believe in anything the FOC taught or are teaching, however I do love the people.

      Delete
  10. I love that you are bold and tell your story. I deserve an award for being honest and brave telling this story. hurray for suzi.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I meant you deserve an award for being honest and brave and telling this (your) story. sorry for the typo.

    ReplyDelete
  12. the first time i went to a church after i left the foc was a seventh day Adventist. i was nineteen when i left. i thought i was going to hell for leaving. a woman reached out to me. she was older, i think late sixties early seventies. she knew i was alone and lost. i had two small daughters but i was 1500 miles from family. the woman came over once or twice a week at first. sometimes she would take me grocery shopping and sometimes she would play with my girls. she showed me love without questioning me. she was there for me. one day after about six months she invited me to her church. she had never told me her beliefs in God but i could tell she was good. she just never shared her religious beliefs until about six months past. then one day she invited me to her church. i told her i would love to go. after all i had left church, and, besides this elderly woman, i had no contact or trust with anyone else. she explained to me that she went to church on saturday. i didnt care. i had been alone from my family for several years at this point and she was the only one that was kind without wanting anything in return. i dont remember much about the service. i felt love from people i had never meet. the preacher asked for personal testimony from volunteers. it was beautiful. but, i did not join the church. i went for several years. i stopped going because i was afraid God would punish me for joining a church when my heart still believed i was going to hell and it would be worse for joining a worldly church. i guess this sounds crazy, but i was on my own and cut off from my family and what i thought i knew was the truth. what was really the truth was that i needed and loved my family and my heart couldnt accept that i couldnt be part of them anymore.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And now you can clearly see that brainwashing is a real thing? I hope you can! A place like that can really do a number on a person! I wonder what it will take to get people out of that awful place. But here is an interesting thought... In order to get people out, the word of God must be brought back in, (this is a message for everyone out there who claims to hate it!) sure enough you guys get a few bible studies going out there and people will leave in droves, and everything will be swell!

      Delete

The catchpa has been removed to enable easier commenting. Spam and irrelevant comments will be deleted.