Tuesday, January 29, 2013

A Hard-Working Woman


I find it transparent when someone doesn't like what I've written or said, but cannot defend his objections so instead attacks me as a person - and his favorite topic is my gender. 

So, to the man or men who like to post trollish comments about women who work outside the home, I dedicate today's post. Also, to the man who called someone "retarded" for claiming the virtuous wife/mother in Proverbs 31 was an income earner, please read verses 16 and 24, which clearly state that this woman provides income for her family.

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Proverbs 31 provides a detailed metaphor of feminine wisdom in the context of a family and a community.

The most quoted section, verse 10-31, is a chiastic poem, that is, a poem that cycles through alternating thoughts. The chapter speaks of the worth of a good wife to her husband, the manual labor that she does, her fulfillment of responsibilities to those who need her, her ability to provide for her family, and her wisdom in caring for herself so she can share her strength with others. These ideas are presented in a kind of circular pattern throughout the section.

The chapter begins with King Lemuel recounting advice his mother had given him. She exhorted him to not fall to weaknesses that would compromise his position as king, but to care for the poor. One of the weaknesses she mentioned was the susceptibility of his strength—or “noble character” (31:10)—to be harmed by improper relationships with women. Although verses 10-31 do not directly follow this warning in the original, they do illustrate a fitting description of what kind of woman Lemuel should seek.

   10 An excellent wife, who can find?
       For her worth is far above jewels.
   11 The heart of her husband trusts in her,
       And he will have no lack of gain.
   12 She does him good and not evil
       All the days of her life.

A good, supportive, trusting wife is a blessing to a man. A woman who partners with her husband, who is reliable, and looks out for his interests, gives a man a security that is greatly lacking in the world. She is worth more than a substantial paycheck. To bring in the metaphor, wisdom provides the same benefits—it is worth more than money, you can always trust it to make the right decision, and it provides blessings for those who have it.

   13 She looks for wool and flax,
       And works with her hands in delight…
   19 She stretches out her hands to the distaff,
       And her hands grasp the spindle…
   27 She looks well to the ways of her household,
       And does not eat the bread of idleness.

The wife of Proverbs 31 isn’t afraid of work. She gets up in the morning and gets things done. In the time of Solomon, this involved making fabric and sewing clothes, but verse 27 certainly applies directly to us today—taking care of our responsibilities is a characteristic of wisdom.

   15 She rises also while it is still night
       And gives food to her household
       And portions to her maidens…
   21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household,
       For all her household are clothed with scarlet.
   20 She extends her hand to the poor,
       And she stretches out her hands to the needy.

Another characteristic of wisdom is the grace to help others. The Proverbs 31 wife ensures that those under her care receive what they need—food, clothing, protection. And she is able to serve others out of the excess of her work and the leaning of her heart. She has so internalized her role as a provider that it extends past her immediate responsibilities and into the community.

   14 She is like merchant ships;
       She brings her food from afar…
   16 She considers a field and buys it;
       From her earnings she plants a vineyard…
   18 She senses that her gain is good;
       Her lamp does not go out at night…
   24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
       And supplies belts to the tradesmen.

Beyond that, she’s very savvy. She’s educated about the world and the world of business. She knows how to use her skills to provide for her family, and she’s not afraid to go interact with that world, whether it be as a merchant or a buyer. She knows how to use her strengths to her best advantage, and she fully realizes how valuable her efforts are.

   17 She girds herself with strength
       And makes her arms strong…
   22 She makes coverings for herself;
       Her clothing is fine linen and purple.
   25 Strength and dignity are her clothing,
       And she smiles at the future.
   26 She opens her mouth in wisdom,
       And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.

The Proverbs 31 woman not only knows her worth, she knows her responsibilities to herself. She would not be able to provide for others if she neglected her needs—both physical and spiritual. She makes sure her appearance reflects her respected position as an influence in her community. Her greatest strength is her wisdom—her accurate judgment about the world and her influence in it. And she is quick to share the wisdom she has gained to encourage others to reach their potential.

   23 Her husband is known in the gates,
       When he sits among the elders of the land…
   28 Her children rise up and bless her;
       Her husband also, and he praises her, saying:
   29 "Many daughters have done nobly,
       But you excel them all."
   30 Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain,
       But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.
   31 Give her the product of her hands,
       And let her works praise her in the gates.

She knows that, as a partner in her marriage, she has a tremendous influence on her husband’s ministry. She can integrate her life—both domestic and professional—with her ministry in such a way that her husband has the freedom to serve. In fact, her reputation is so established, that it bleeds off onto him.

The Proverbs 31 wife is a fierce provider and protector for those she cares about. She is wise to the ways of the world, but lives by the wisdom of God. As in the rest of the Proverbs, these specific examples provide a metaphor for the larger truth. How any individual woman exemplifies these characteristics will depend on her situation, gifts, and abilities. The key is in verse 30, just as it is in the beginning of Proverbs, in 1:7:

But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.

* * * * * 

This article is reprinted with permission and was originally published on gotquestions.org.



57 comments:

  1. Hi Suzanne,

    Reading your post right after the comment you left for me is making your comment sink in even deeper. I appreciated the constructive criticism, and upon reading the beginning of this post I have further appreciation. You were able to defend your objections, and rather than attack, you also inspired the light bulbs to go off for me. Well done! Thank you!

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  2. Suzanne,
    I haven't been privy to the situation leading up to this post, but certainly feel you hurt. You did a very nice job of not retaliating, but standing tall.
    Thank you,
    Dr. Hale

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  3. Way to prove your point. Keep up the good work.

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  4. I love this passage in scripture!
    Great post.
    Anne

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  5. Ephesians chapter 5
    "22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
    23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
    24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so [let] the wives [be] to their own husbands in every thing.
    25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
    26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
    27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
    28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
    29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
    30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
    31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh."

    You can root through the Old Testament to justify an eye for an eye, or other things too. But this is enough to live by IMO. What you do with your life is of no consequence to me. I'm not trying to judge what you do with your life. Just pointing that out.

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    1. How does that have anything to do with a woman having a job?

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    2. What if her husband tells her to get a job? She must submit...according to your scripture

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  6. My husband told me to go out and get a job. I obeyed him. Should I have refused?

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  7. I'm not suggesting that you do, or don't do anything. It's none of my business. This blog just appears to be insinuating that a woman does have to work to be a whole person. Spiritually, or financially. Getting into the weeds that far doesn't seem necessary. What does matter is what you and your husband decide is best for you. Not what Suzie thinks of your lifestyle.

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    1. You're right about one thing: it is none of your business. People who judge Suzi for being a working woman know nothing about her situation.

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    2. Those who lived and died under the old testiment, will be judged by the old testiment. Those who live and die under the new testiment, will be judged by the new testiment. This passage from Proverbs has absolutly nothing to do with this day and age of the new testiment. It appears as though Suzzie is trying her best to justify her education and career. Not flying with me. Seems to me, Suzzie is trying her hardest to justify her education and career. Not flying with me.

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    3. Anon - how do you praise and glorify God while hurling illiterate insults? You bring shame on the entire FOC.

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  8. I missed the big insult there. Could you explain how that statement was even insulting? I don't think you have to be a scholar to know right from wrong, morally. But there were too many z's used in her name, I guess that person is an infidel too? I'm asking, not judging.

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    1. He is attacking her for being a woman who is educated and earns an income. Why should she have to justify her accomplishments? Why be ashamed for using her God-given talents and abilities?

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    2. Explain to me how I am "attacking" Suzzie? I simply said it "APPEARS" as though SHE, (Sussie), is trying to justify those things here. I did not say she IS justifing it. Besides,Suzzie is the one that brought up these quotes from proverbs, not me. She don't need to justify anything to me. But, it APPEARS as though she is.

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    3. Why would she need to "justify" those things? They are great accomplishments and nothing to be ashamed of. BTW: it's spelled "testament." And "Suzi" not "Suzzie" or "Sussie."

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    4. I have NEVER said, "Suzzie needs to justify" those things. It appears as though YOU need to re-read my comments OR, get YOUR eyes checked! So, YOU say I am attacking her. What are YOU doing towards me? Attacking me? Hmmmmm, seems a bit hypocritical to me. Maybe Suzzie can chime in here. Why do you feel the need to post this? Is it to "justify" your education and career? Just askin, NOT judging.

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    5. And again. I ask, explain to me how I am "attacking" Suzzie, and how am I "hurling" insults? Just stating facts.

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    6. Dear Anon, the purpose of this blog post - as I said in the intro - was in response to the rude and belittling comments certain men have made throughout the past eighteen months about women who work. More than insulted by people who make unkind and off-topic comments, I feel that they do so out of insecurity.

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  9. I love this passage of scripture! I work with a company based on this passage. We celebrate, encourage, and reward women in every walk of their lives. "Thirty one gifts" she works with her hands, extends her hand to the poor, she is praised for her efforts...that is what our founder does through our company of predominantly women. She has founded this company on faith, helps women that need it and contributes to the needy through the Thirty One gives foundation.
    I'm a Proverbs 31 woman, and my husband is blessed.

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  10. Why am I not surprised that Maggie works also. Do you also not shave your legs or armpits? You and Suzanne should hold a bra burning the same day the the foc has their big book burning party.

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    1. A party in my honor? Thanks! Let me know the date and I'll plan to attend.

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  11. 10:28 had a good point about the old and New Testament. Why are you attacking him. Are you afraid of addressing that point?

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    1. Who is attacking whom? Men who only care about the Bible to put women down? Thought so.

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  12. Well that's not a blanket bigoted statement, on the part of a narrow minded feminist. I can do sarcasm too, but the point is what law were going to be judged by. There is enough scripture in the New Testament to embolden, and empower a woman to to good works. The organization that Maggie belongs to sounds really special. If they're doing great things for the poor or whomever then that's really nice. If your trying to say that follower mothers are bad for being stay at home moms then maybe you're jealous of them. Why else would you work so hard to puff yourself up, but to put them down in the same breath. They ARE the ideal, they do good works for the sick, the poor, the sad, they rejoice with the happy, then weep with the sad. They are perfect. You are trying to make yourself out to be holier for having a job? That's preposterous, how well do you even know the people at the random churches that you visit? Do you visit their sick? Followers do. Works aren't everything, but they're something special when they're done for you. The familiarity of the followers can be a detriment at times. But it's transparent to anyone who knows you what your trying to pull. And contrary to what Suzie would have you believe, a lot of wives work to help out, and help the sick, and do all manner of good works. Most of the time they work AFTER their kids have entered school. Oh and they keep their houses up at the same time. They are superwomen, so try to be more like them.

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    1. Sounds like those FOC women work more than I do. I spend all of nine hours/week at work - all while my kids are in school. Maybe foc men can stop making rude comments about me having a job now.

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    2. You made it a topic of discussion by suggesting that your feminist ways are the Christian way. Then bringing up the Old Testament to ram the point home that wives SHOULD be working to be good people. They work like crazy, as do you I'm sure, but don't pretend that the church is a bad place. People are flawed creatures, so is any church. They do right, you were wronged. If you spend enough time with any group of flawed (all of us) people, you will be hurt by someone. Consider the state of mind that you were in at the time. It's very likely that your own guilt, whether justified or not, made you feel shunned more than you actually were. I have no doubt that you experienced some unkind actions by simple people. You seem to have a problem with blanket statements being made about you, so you, being an enlightened person, should expect some backlash when they're directed at the church.

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    3. "And if ye do good to them which do good to you, what thank have ye? for sinners also do even the same." Luke 6:33. I've never heard of an FOC person going out of their way to do anything for a person outside your group.

      In fact, the most recent word was about your "secret website" to trick outsiders into giving you money!

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    4. The book of Proverbs is the "old law"? That is disturbing and incorrect. What Bible did Jesus quote from? The OT. All scripture is useful for instruction (2 Tim 3:16). Maybe you people should read the Bible as much as you read this blog.

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    5. When the Apostle Paul said "All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness' He was not referring to the New testament. The works that came to be the New Testament had not even been put together. Back then it took many years to "publish" a book let alone distribute it widely.

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  13. Maybe you should stop making rude comments about our church then!

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    1. I'd love to know what I've said that is untrue or "rude"? I really would like to know. My intention is not to be unkind. So if there is something specific that I've said (please quote me), then I will be happy to appologize.

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    2. Suzanne, you've been called out for untruths and mean things throughout your blog and you have multiple times erased your comments and the ones that question you. So what's the point. You will either erase the comment or say you never said what your accused of because you already erased the proof.

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    3. If someone points something out that I said that was incorrect, I will gladly fix it. That's not "erasing the evidence" that's called being humble and willing to fix and admit to accidental mistakes. The truth is I do not say mean things. I say true things and you think it's mean.

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    4. 9:20, how would you go about keeping track of all of the good that people do? The things that you hear about are what's being done openly for the sake of those in trouble. But if you are doing your alms properly no one would know that you did them, correct? I know it's an honest question, based upon what you've read, but I have no doubt that good things are done by many people out there for a lot of people outside of the church. Volunteerism isn't forbidden to my knowledge. But now flip that around, what if you did nothing for your own brethren, but openly boasted about how you volunteered lots of time anyone but your own? Then there might be a backlash to some extent.

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  14. Just a question, in all humility, I'm just trying to understand.

    Do the women of the FOC do "works" for those outside the church regularly? In the Oregon City schools, some will help at school in their child's class monthly, but I have noticed they will not help on PTA events or food or clothing drives or other events that help people other than their own children. Is there a commandment in your religion against helping people outside your church?

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    1. "Is there a commandment in your religion against helping people outside your church? "

      No. In fact we all, whether men or women should do what we can to help each other and those outside.

      Galatians 6:9-10

      And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not. As we have therefore opportunity, let us do good unto all men, especially unto them who are of the household of faith.

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    2. Yes Darren the bible says you should... but do you? The FOC and COTFB may differ. Do you have a philanthropic board at your church that helps the community? If so, good for you!

      Widows and orphans who are not members are not helped by the FOC church non-profit in Oregon City. Individual members may donate or volunteer on their own, but they will do it in secret rather than risk censure.

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    3. A board. No. We order our lives to be charitable towards the community of believers AND those about us. If it is done in secrecy with us, it is because there is no desire to be noticed, not because we are worried about being censured.

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    4. When you speak of the community of believers do you mean COTFB or all Christians? So your church does not have an official mechanism of outreach to "those about us"? Do you call anyone outside your church "worldly people" like the FOC does?

      Thanks for the reply.

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    5. "do you mean COTFB or all Christians? " Aren't they synonymous? The name used for our group, in this post's case the acronym, is a label thrust upon us. Otherwise those words are our description, not our name. There are people who may qualify as believers, but not necessarily part of the church. Also there are many "so called brethren" who take upon themselves the name of Christ, but are not his. Since my earlier comment indicated we are to do good to ALL, I am not sure why you are expecting me to delineate who is or is not my brother/sister. We are speaking of doing good to others, whether someone is of the household of faith or not is irrelevant.

      Define "official mechanism of outreach". I do not belong to a church organization, I am part of an organism, the bride of Christ. Only what comes from Christ is official, we are the mechanism he uses, and he commands us all to play our part allotted us in his outreach plan.

      Yes, we do refer to those outside the church as belonging to "the world".

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    6. Darren,

      No Church of the First Born is NOT synonymous of all Christians. The group that goes along with that name have many doctrines than most Christians from Catholic to Unitarian would call heresy.

      I thought you belonged to the Church of the First Born. You do not? Do you not have non-profit registration with the state you reside in? The name was thrust upon you? By whom? I read letters, written by preachers, in the early 1900's using that name. If you want a better name or description for your group, change it.

      If you do not belong to a church, this conversation is comparing apples to oranges. Sorry if I misunderstood.

      I'm was also trying to define what you consider "the church" In Oregon City, it is commonly defined as those who pay their dues each month. What does "part of the church" mean to you? How can you be a believer and not be "part of the church" if the Church of the First Born is a description of the true believers in Christ or if it is just a description thrust upon you?

      Official outreach= The church goes each week to the homeless shelter and cooks/serves meals. Regularly the group goes and washes the feet of the homeless, cuts their hair and helps them with other needs. The women make blankets and send them to the hospital to send home with young mothers that don't have anything. These are just a few examples of what churches in my community of different denominations are doing. This was never done in the FOC (except the t-shirts PK made for the kids in Africa in the 80's)

      If your group is like the Oregon City FOC, your group does not, as a group, do good works regularly to ALL like other churches, mosques or temples do in our country. Good works are usually reserved for church members.

      Just trying to point out the danger of a group isolating themselves so from the world. You cannot do what Christ commanded you do towards the poor if you only help those in the group.

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    7. So the description from Hebrews 12:23 was not of Christians?

      No doubt what we practice is called heresy by others. It always was so.

      Acts 24:14-16
      But this I confess unto thee, that after the way which they call heresy, so worship I the God of my fathers, believing all things which are written in the law and in the prophets: And have hope toward God, which they themselves also allow, that there shall be a resurrection of the dead, both of the just and unjust. And herein do I exercise myself, to have always a conscience void of offence toward God, and toward men.

      We do not have a non-profit registration, which is for tax purposes, with the state. Congregations are autonomous and some may have registered that way, but that is not the norm, and should not be. I have many original letters where we referred to ourselves as "The Church of the First Born", "The Body of Christ", The Followers of Christ", "The Disciples of Christ", "The Church of Christ", "The Church of God", "The True Vine", and many other epithets which are nothing more than descriptions. I do not care which name we are known by, it is still the same faith, and the most common way we speak of ourselves is "The Brethren", or our way as "The Faith".

      The name in it's present form was placed upon us because the state needed one to categorize us in regards to the members who sought exemption from the draft.

      The description we use is fine, just not the only one ever used.

      Comparing the COFB with OC probably is apples and oranges. There are some similarities, but there are some differences as well. It depends on the subject broached. By THE Church I am speaking of the entire church, not a local congregation of it.

      We are separated from the world , but not so much that we have left it. We are taught to do good to all, and I see it being done, even though it is not perhaps the collective works you have described.

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  15. They're too busy helping those in need that they see 2 or thre times a week. The US is happy to send money to Haiti, Africa, all over the world. Then let their own kids here go to bed hungry at night, and have no health care. The FOC is smarter rhan that. If an eye for an eye is scripture to live by, then quit whining about mean comments made about you in retaliation.

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    1. The FOC is smarter than having no health care? Wow - what a load! Suzi a whiner? Funny how you ignore the posts when she tells you how much God loves you (I've never seen any of the anons telling Suzi how much God loves HER) and the posts where she reminisces about the good times and good aspects of life in the FOC.

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    2. Smarter than our country, as in sending resources to other people, rather than taking care of your own. It wasn't a complicated statement.

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  16. For the record Samuel, I do believe that god loves us all. I believe that he would rather that none should perish.

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  17. If you really believe that, you are not a good FOC. Everything comes down to the chosen in Oregon City. They are the remnant and the only ones to be saved that are known of. How can God rather none would perish when according to Walters' Dream, baptism is finished and every human on the planet dammed except the FOC in Oregon City. Unless there is some remnant of the FOC in Africa somewhere.

    It always bothered me when the older ones talked about how small, innocent, worldly children would fare at the second coming. They would just be like grass in a fire, just flare quickly then burn out. Just a quick incineration. Innocent children perishing through merciful burning before they could commit some horrible sin was the example of a loving God in the FOC.

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  18. I'm not a good "FOC", I'm not a good Christian, I'm not a good person. I'm a sinner. No better than the worst criminal or infidel. But I have eyes to read with, a heart, and mind that is learning to accept that I'm not right about everything. If my comment sounds mean it's just my opinion today, not forever. If I want God to have perfect mercy on my soul I have to learn to be merciful. I am the judged, not the judge. But like any other Christian, if I see that someone's back is on fire and they can't see it, I'm going to try to put it out before they are consumed by the fire out of love. Not hateful FOC rhetoric, not out of spite because they left seeking God, it's because some lines of thinking lead to the pit. It might be the way i think, and it might be yours. When you believe it's my way, you call me out on it. When I believe it's yours, I'm going to do the same for you. Lets have a spirited debate. But don't forget your fire extinguisher, I might need it occasionally.

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    1. You are proof positive that we cannot paint everyone with one brush stroke. Thank you for speaking out in love. It is a refreshing change.

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  19. Your kindly sounding analogy does not match with anything I witnessed. I'm sorry you weren't around me instead of those who were.

    Another question, would you "put out a fire" on a worldly person, or do you think the great majority of the human race are already damned because they are not in Oregon City?



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    1. In my opinion, it is both dangerous and wrong to "put out fires" on nonbelievers and/or people we don't know well. Until a person accepts Jesus as savior, sin is irrelevant. Until you know someone well enough to understand them, trying to "put out their fires" will only push them away.

      If this commentor is still living in the FOC, they are not free to relate to believers outside the group.

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  20. No, I'm with Suzie on that one, and others. Letting your light shine as much as possible, and giving them kind answers to their religious questions is my strategy with those that I don't know to be believers. I don't consider their fate to be irrelevant, but I have found it interesting to give them a scriptural answer to a right or wrong question. It may not matter much to them, but it's why I think what I think, so it's the only answer that I can honestly give. And to 8:47 I would have loved to be there for you, and a lot of others. By the time an individual has made it clear that they're leaving their mind is pretty well made up. They aren't looking around for the opinion of a follower to persuade them of anything anymore.

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    1. Oh God forbid they should leave! What a bunch of Walter White supremists! Don't think that they think they are better than people who have left their "faith" walk into a popular restaraunt on Sunday at lunch time (if you are an ex) and see how many glares you get, see how many people stare, see how many of them smile or show the love of God to you! Just take a moment to witness these godly people, thanks!

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  21. Do you smile at them? What happens when you approach them and say hello? Is it all on them to be kind, or should you try to be kind to them? There is hostility, but they probably expect it to come from you. Just saying

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  22. I can say I am guilty of shunning people who have left. Yes the FOC does shun those outside of the church or those who have left. I now know the error of my ways.

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    1. Amen! I shunned people too - my own sister! Every one of us who have left were once guilty of shunning others.

      It's not right. It's not biblical. But it's how the group tries to keep people in line and from leaving.

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