Sunday, April 14, 2013

Are You a Doormat? #iHateWhenPeopleExpectMeTo

#iHateWhenPeopleExpectMeTo is trending on Twitter today. Here are some of the most retweeted and favorited tweets:

give my honest opinion when they ask for it and when I do, they want to get mad -______-

do stuff just because everyone else is doing it... Nope, I have standards.

apologize when they were clearly wrong

do everything for them

do things for them that they wouldn't do for me.

share every time I have some food, can I just enjoy my meal for once.

There's a common thread here. People are resentful about being walked on, abused, and taken advantage of. I am so there. How do you balance Christian charity with having enough standards that you don't end up exploding?

But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also.
Matthew 5:39

I don't know the answer. I do know that I can give you a detailed list of the people who repeatedly take advantage of me (I won't do it, though). Holding a grudge or holding it in? Being Christlike is not easy!

Can you relate? Do you feel like a doormat? Do you have any tips for letting all the insults and injuries go? I'd love to hear your words of wisdom and/or experience.


  1. I think people get fed up with mean people and being told that you need to become harder yourself so stop it happening, why should you change who you are? It is nice to be nice after all X

  2. I think that when people take advantage of us, we have a choice to allow it or not. The first time it happens, there's a lesson for us to learn so that we detect the signs the next time around. If we continue to allow it, we have yet to learn the lesson. Like a child who pushes the envelope, people want limits and it is up to us to set them. (Just my 2 cents!)

  3. There is a difference between being charitable, enabling bad behavior and having reasonable boundaries. We train people how to treat us. If you are getting really bothered do some soul searching. 1. If it is something they can do stop doing it for them. 2. Do you have an underlying belief that you created a long time ago?
    It is OK to take care of yourself. Blessings on your journey.

  4. Hate the closest emotion to Love.
    When people consider you a doormat or treat you as one it's our problem as much as it is their character flaw.
    People often take advantage because that is how they were treated,or on the other they are just jerks.
    Yes we are taught as Christians to turn the other cheek,but we are also taught for our "Yes to be yes and our no to be no"

    We don not give with expectation of something in return,but in turn if someones need is not truly there it goes again back to the post of "Judgement and Discernment".

    I consider my self to be a giver.It does hurt to feel unappreciated.But it is for us to forgive.
    Although we do not want to do the same thing over and over and expect a different result. As Christians we are suppose to be kind ,not naive.

  5. I don't know the answer either! I imagine that if you can start talking about and acting on your goals and desires people will realize you have a life too!

  6. common thread? please, just because some people say something on twitter or your blog or the internet does not mean the represent the whole population. we are all human and learning.

    saying sorry when you think it is all the other persons fault? probably you are at more fault than you think if you are that full of yourself.

    not sharing your food? or helping someone.

    1. If you're so perfect, why do you post hateful comments anonymously?

  7. I am with mr. persons... i like your response.

  8. perfect. my post was nothing about perfection.

  9. It has been a hard lesson for me... this not being a doormat thing. For me it started with seeing myself how God saw me. Realizing the only person I HAD to please was Him. And since God loves me as well as those around me, doing what God says leaves me in the perfect balance of helping others while not being taken advantage of.

    Not to say I've mastered this!! BUT I am much better at it which leaves me much more content. :-)


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